Date Night

One Friday at lunch time my sweet husband asked if maybe we could go out on a date in the evening. I wish I could say that the prospect of a spontaneous date filled me with warm, fuzzy, romantic feels. The reality was that I now had to deal with the frustrations of finding babysitters and making time to pump bottles and grab a shower.

At this point you might say to yourself, how thoughtless of your husband! Doesn't he know that dates take planning and that asking for a date will cause you frustration?

Of course my husband knows this. He's not oblivious. It's just that on this particular Friday he actually felt good enough to go on a date. You see, he's sleep-deprived, too. More often than not, he comes home from work EXHAUSTED.

We had tried to have two other dates before this one. We had concert tickets that we bought before the kids were born, but when the day of the concert came around, my husband opted to stay home and get some sleep instead. On our second attempt at a date after the birth of the twins, I dragged my husband out for a night on the town, and he ended up having a miserable time because he was just so tired.

So when my husband actually asked for a date, I obliged. I spent the afternoon texting every responsible adult I knew in the whole city and managed to get two babysitters. (I don’t like to leave all three kids with just one person.) Then when Rob got home from work, I had him watch the kids for a bit while I pumped bottles, showered, and got ready.

Needless to say I was frazzled by the time we got in the car, but he knew it, and he thanked me for putting forth the effort to make this happen.

For our date, we didn’t do much of anything. We went to the mall and walked around aimlessly like we did when we were teenagers and first dating. We ate at the food court and window shopped and generally pretended we had no responsibilities. It was lovely.

We also spent a good amount of time holding hands and expressing our appreciation for each other and actually looking at each other.

That last part sounds strange, right? But it’s true. I rarely look at my husband anymore. The other day he trimmed his beard and I didn’t notice for two days. The kids have all of my attention. I have conversations with my husband while passing him in the kitchen.

And that’s why it was worth all the frustration to put together a last-minute date. Because I need to actually look my husband in the eye when I talk to him. I need to tell him I appreciate him. He deserves that.

I don’t know how often I’ll be able to go on dates with my husband in the next few months, but whenever he asks for my time, I will try my best to give it to him.