All the Thoughts I Had Today

7am. Maybe I can feed the babies and get them back to sleep before Miss 2 wakes up. 

Nope. She's already up.

OK I'll nurse them while Husband gets Miss 2's diaper changed. 

Little Guy's not eating. Miss 2 wants to "just be naked".

Oh thank goodness, husband is swaddling Little Guy. I'll bounce him to sleep while I finish nursing Big Guy. Well this is going smoothly. I hope Miss 2 doesn't pee on the couch.

Ok Big Guy is happy and Little Guy is sleeping, I can make breakfast for Miss 2. You want eggs, Darling? Here we go. It's so pleasant to make breakfast without any babies crying. 

Mmm blackberry jam. 

Uh oh, better gobble this up. Big Guy is getting fussy.

Aw he's so cute. All I had to do was hold him, and he fell asleep. 

Wow I'm drinking my tea in peace.

Oh crap they're both crying. Ok I'll nurse LG while I bounce BG. Ugh, LG wants to lie down while he nurses. I can't bounce BG while I lie down. OK I'll bounce LG back to sleep while I pat BG back to sleep. Nope that's not working. Other way around maybe? Nope, still not working. 

This is impossible. 

OK I'll put LG in the swing upstairs to cry it out while I get BG back to sleep. 

This is torture. 

Phew, LG got quiet. I hope he's sleeping. I hope he's not dead. 

I'll wait until BG is deeply asleep before I move him. Ok. Done. Checking on LG. Phew, he's asleep and not dead.

Now for lunch! I think mac and cheese is in order! I'll just put the water on to boil. 

Aaaaaaaaand LG is awake. I don't care what your parents say. They had a favorite. It's the one who napped the longest.

I'm putting my hair up with a chip clip. We have reached that level of desperation. 

Well, I guess I'll have to cook with one hand while I hold him with the other. Here we go. Oh fabulous! I just dropped half a stick of butter right into the fire on my lovely gas stove. What a disgusting mess. Do I own tongs? Where are my tongs? Nope. Fingers it is then. Gotta pick this up without burning myself. Haha! Success. Ok now to salvage lunch and eat it while holding a baby. 

Oh guess what everybody?! Miss Two doesn't WANT mac and cheese for lunch!! That's right. The girl who eagerly got it out of the pantry has decided she would now rather have bologna. Whatever. More for me. Better gobble this up. LG is getting fussy.

There's a booger on my knee. It's not mine. 

Aw he's so cute when he's falling asleep. I can't stay mad at you. 

Oh Lord Miss Two just woke him up! Oh I want to do violence. Someone better come home and stop me from doing some violence. 

OK calm down. You're not going to hurt anyone. You're going to put Miss Two down for an early nap while LG goes back to sleep in the swing. 

OK LG is calm. Come on Miss Two, let's get in bed and read a book. Crap, he's crying. And BG is probably going to wake up any second. I'll just finish this book, and if he's still crying, I'll get him then. Oh good, he quieted down. I hope he's sleeping and not dead. Done with the book. I'll go check on him. Not dead. Ok Miss Two go to sleep.

Aaaaaaaand LG is awake. That lasted ten minutes. Miss Two stay in bed while I get LG. I'll just change his diaper. Do I have time to pee before Miss Two sneaks out of bed? I'll try. Ok back in bed Miss Two. You go to sleep while I make LG happy. Please just go to sleep. Oh do you need that baby doll that you deliberately dropped on the floor? Do you? Well too bad. You dropped it. Ugh. Just go to sleep. LG if you would also go to sleep, that would be fabulous. Did I just hear BG crying? No. No, I'm imagining things. Oh thank goodness he sleeps so much. Oh my gosh! She's asleep! Time to sneak out of here!

How about some tea and Downton Abbey, LG? You think that's a good idea? Yeah, me too. 

Ok better swaddle this guy and bounce him back to sleep before BG wakes up and wants to nurse. Hey this is working. MUAHAHAHA HE HAS SLEEPY EYES!! 

Ah LG is asleep just in time. BG is waking up. Hello sweet baby! Want to watch more Downton Abbey while we nurse? Yeah? Me too. 

Oh my goodness you sweet baby! You want to go back to sleep! Feel free buddy. Rest your sweaty little head on my chest and go back to sleep. 

OK I'll wait until he's deeply asleep before I move him. Nope, Miss Two is awake. Better move him now. Ah that's ok. He's staying asleep.

Hey Miss Two! Check it out! Both your brothers are asleep! Wanna do a puzzle? Yeah, me too. And read a book? Yes absolutely. And pull everything out of the junk drawer while I do the dishes? I'm good with that. You know why? Because both the babies are sleeping at the same time. 

Aw Husband is home with dinner. He wins.