What Successful Parenting Means to Me

Tuesday was a success. Wednesday was a failure. What made them different?

Tuesday I stayed home, watched too much tv, and had a glass of wine once all the kids were asleep.

Wednesday I stayed home, watched too much tv, and had a glass of wine once all the kids were asleep.

Tuesday I got up with my toddler instead of clinging to the idea of more sleep. I did some chores when the twins let me put them down. I asked my toddler to help me with those chores. We had fun together.

Wednesday I kept trying to sleep after my toddler woke up. She came into my room at about 9:30 with a poopy diaper. The first thing one does in the morning should not be to struggle with a toddler who doesn't want to have her poopy diaper changed.

Wednesday I did no chores. Well that's not strictly true. I did wipe off the table after my toddler spilled juice everywhere.

Wednesday I ignored my toddler, or at least tried to. She made it difficult.

Finally at 4pm, clearly fed up with being ignored all day, she hollered at me from the kitchen. When I turned and looked her way, she was dancing on the table. I laughed and then promptly went back to watching my show.

Then my poor, sweet toddler fell off the table. I think. I actually don't know what happened, because I was ignoring her. But I heard a thud, and then she came to me crying with a bloody lip.

Tuesday was a success, not because chores got done, but because of my perspective, because I remembered that my children are not a hindrance to my ends; they are ends in themselves.

Wednesday was a failure, not because my kid got hurt, but because my kid got ignored. She deserves better than that. I can do better than that.

We all feel like we're terrible at this parenting thing sometimes. We all are terrible at it sometimes. But we are also sometimes really on top of our game. We can't let the guilt from the failures overwhelm us. We have to just keep doing our best.

Today my goal is to take a walk with my toddler. When I go for walks with her, I am fully present with her. No checking my phone. No watching tv. Just being with my daughter. That's my goal.

It's not what we're doing that matters. It's the quality of the time we're spending together.

Also Big Guy just sneezed in my face. Happy Thursday everybody!